Living with a sensitive heart in a cruel and unfair world
So, Facebook is great for sharing updates with friends and family and I live for funny memes. There’s clearly a lot of hate being thrown around lately, but every once in awhile some really sad and devastating stories get shared. They catch me off guard, I can’t help but read, and sometimes (a lot of the time), they just stick with me and occupy my thoughts, affect my sleep, cause anxiety… almost as if I’m traumatized. It’s a difficult part of my faith walk… finding peace knowing how people, especially children, have suffered and are suffering. A big part of me wants to block these stories on social media in the name of self-care. But, I just know in my heart of hearts that is not the answer. I’ve been praying about how not to turn a blind eye to suffering and still live with peace. Someone recently shared the scripture Romans 8:18 and it has been a Scripture that has given me that sense of peace I have been missing and has carried me when I feel absolutely overwhelmed with sadness by others’ suffering:
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” -Romans 8:18
I have to bring my heart and my emotions back to that faith that our God is faithful and is going to make it all right… He’s going to make it all ok, and what He has in store for us is better than anything we can imagine. Every child who has suffered and died is with Jesus and He has comforted them and taken away all of their pain. I have to believe.
I know that I cannot find peace apart from Christ.
I know there are so many who question how a good and loving God can let awful things happen, especially to children. But I absolutely have to believe that:
-God is working and will bring good out of even the most devastating situations.
-God is close and near to those who are suffering.
-God will make everything right.
-Every child who has suffered is with Jesus right now and feels no more pain.
Faith is what carries me. Because the alternative is to live under a rock, in a safety bubble where we ignore situations that bother us, and I know that is not how God has called us to live. We need to be able to be “in the trenches” with the hurting, and faith is what will give us the strength to do that and still be well ourselves. We can’t be afraid of our sadness overwhelming us.
After I became a mom, my heart for children has grown exponentially. I see my children in every other child. My church travels to Guatemala to do mission work every year and, before I had kids, I had gone every year for 10 years. I know God is calling me to go back, but I have honestly been afraid. I have thought, “there is no way I can be around those babies and hold it together, I’ll be a mess the whole time, I just can’t do it anymore.” But what is that doing? It’s hiding from the poor and needy because it makes me uncomfortable. It’s not living in faith. There is suffering in this world and we can’t hide from it. God wants us to be His hands and feet, to comfort others, remind them they’re not alone, share the Good News. It’s ok to be sad and cry, but it’s not ok to lose our sense of peace in the midst of sadness, and I think that’s been the real battle for me: being so sad and heartbroken with the evil and injustice that exists in this world while still being able to maintain enough peace that I don’t hide from it but I allow God to use me to do something about it. I wonder how many out there could be doing so much to make a difference in this world if they weren’t scared of being overwhelmed and being outside of their comfort zone. I hope this has spoken to someone, because it has sure spoken to me lately.
“For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.'” Deuteronomy 15:11
